Saturday, November 15, 2014
Emotion$ and $$$
No one is a lonely island, we are all together connected. We have different types of connections/relationships. It is easy to talk to your friends and partner. It is easy to joke, and even talk about BJ, but for some reasons it is not easy to talk about money. How did we arrive to a point where talking about sexual positions is more appropriate then talk about money?
I am first to blame, I noticed that it is easier for me to talk about anything then money with my partner. In fact, it is bad to a point that I rather die then say anything. If he asks me how am I doing I either lie or start crying. Shame on me. How immature. This has been going for some time and it makes me wonder why I cannot control my emotions? Are money emotional?
I think that money represent to girls security. We certainly don't go and buy the bad ass cars with the shiniest, coolest rims. Nor we use the money to buy obnoxious golden chain either. I think having money means that if a girl chooses to buy the chain or the car she can. There is this underlying feeling of being sure that resources are there. So, if Louboutines will go on sale, we can go and purchase beautiful pair of shoes to walk through life.
What about if money are not there, and we are living from pay chaeque to pay cheque? Now, the security level is lower since money is tight. The stress is on the rise. However, the next big stress increase will happen the moment something expensive goes wrong; fridge or car. Luckily, most of us have a credit card where we could tap into in case of emergency. What happens if your cards are maxed out?
Fear is powerful emotion. It can affect not only how we feel but also how we act. Elisabeth Kubler Ros says there are only two emotions: "love and fear." This quote has been repeated by many as ultimate truth. I must say I disagree. When it comes to money fear is true, but love? It seems that when we have fears connected to finances the trouble begin. This is where I am at. This is why I binge eat at night when the fear reaches new heights, I try to calm myself with a piece of chocolate. It works! What happens if you do not have fear? Do you have love for money? I am having very hard time imagining that. Love for money is another beginning of trouble. Neither seems to be reasonable.
I think the best emotions to exhibit around finances are caution and respect. We ought to be cautions about how much we spend and make sure we have savings. We ought to respect money, invest money and make it work for us if possible. As far as investing, I know I should have started at least 20 years ago. I didn't. The second best time is now, right?
I am hoping that my fears will go away, and that I will be able to talk about finances freely. There is no shame of having a difficult month, is there? Economy is what it is, for everyone. People in our lives care for us and they will understand it. Many of my friends are probably in the same situation. What if we all fake that we are all good, and fabulous. Go out and have fun as if nothing is going on and charge everything? Then we will be pushing each other into a deep dark hole from where getting out is not very fabulous. In fact, I have a friend who is broke but goes out as if she is fabulous. Once or twice it does not really matter. Life is about celebrating people and events. However, my friend is ordering champagne and expensive foods. She is out every morning to have a breakfast at cool spot. She lives in uber cool part of town, but she cannot afford her rent. She is living a big fat lie. We worry about her, but she refuses to stop. One day she will need to wake up and face the consequences. The worst part is that she pushes her friends to spend money at the pace she does. I refuse to do this, and we no longer go out together. That is a sad part. She is truly fun - she does not need to pretend that she is fun. Surely, not a cost of digging deeper debt.
What do you think? Do you have emotions associated with money? Which ones? How do you deal with it? Please let me know in the comments below.